Unsaid Feelings Of A Girl

​Here I am sitting in front of the mirror looking at my reflection. Today, I am going to get married and obviously, I am dressed in my wedding outfit. I look ravishing. Mom came and I asked for 5 more minutes because I want to look at myself for the last time before becoming someone else’s for the rest of my life. She first resisted but then gave me those 5 minutes.

A very important phase of my life is going to start and everyone thinks that I am happy but its only me who knows how much it pains when you are broken inside and still have to smile. My marriage is an arranged one. The guy I’m going to get married has been finalized by my family as they don’t believe in love. They don’t believe in love but why am I dealing with its consequences. I just loved a person and thought of getting old with him yet I am not able to marry him. I have done nothing wrong.

Remembering those memorable times with him that I still cherish, my eyes are wet now but I don’t want to cry cause I have already cried a lot. We were best friends in school and when this friendship changed into love, I don’t know. I still remember our silly chats on Whatsapp. I still remember how he would make me cry and then made me smile with all his care and silly talks. I still remember how he saved his pocket money to buy a pendant for me on my birthday. I still remember our late night chats that ended at 5 or 6 in morning and then we both would laugh as to what should we wish each other – good morning or good night. I still remember all the thoughts he shared with me. I still remember our intimate moments that we shared while talking on phone. I still remember our first kiss. I still remember how he would continuously look at me and it would make me blush. I still remember how he would make me laugh with his silly jokes no matter how much sad I would be. I still remember how many times he hurt me but still then his nature and truthfulness never allowed me to leave him.

I still remember that I told him to never leave me alone and he happily promised me. I still remember that I would always tell him to not keep any hope of our future and he would always smile.

But today I feel like I am betraying him. I feel like I have betrayed his pious love for me. I feel like he would never forgive me for what I have done with him.

I look at my forehead which would soon have a hint of red. I look at my neck where a mangalsutra would soon be hanging. This wouldn’t  represent that I am a married woman now but it wouldn’t be him who would tie the mangalsutra around my neck and vermillion on my forehead.

Even after knowing that my parents wouldn’t approve our relation, he still met them but in vain.

I know somewhere he would be crying more than me, cursing me…

Image credits – Google

65 thoughts on “Unsaid Feelings Of A Girl

  1. People think late night calls fake promises and unsustainable gifts are more prioritised!!it’s pathetic that whatever relationship you are at just your thoughts are enough to be connected if it’s true just meeting up or talking I just not needed!close your eyes you’ll feel what you like and stand by their side!!!bt still a good expression😉

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      1. 😂😂😂.if two people really care and have strong relationships.Even separated far by body their souls still can feel them.Those fake promises of lust are not needed(not all*)😺

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    1. i would not say physical affection is a necessity in a relation but as far is the reality concerned and what i know so far physical affection is important part of a relation ship it bounds you to each other in a way no other can when there is also love in it well i have different view people sometimes misunderstand love with craziness,obsession when actually love is something in which you want the other half to be happy i would not say in the story the relation was lust cause she can have as much she wants if it is lust ? but the fact is it is not its love friendship and also promises are meant to broken? are not they ?every promise is not meant to be fulfilled and the gifts that are a necessity if i am in a relation with someone i would want that he gifts not that the prize matters but the feelings matter when you gift someone anyone parent,friend,cousin the love increases between the two the gift can also be put safe as a memory as it was precious cause it was gifted anyone can buy what they want its not that they do not have the money to buy it themselves its that when you buy a gift for someone there is so much love in it and for you it may be pathetic but not for everyone actually for girls who are feminine for them its really important and all girls are like that there may be few exceptions like you i guess

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        1. i am sorry if i was not able to give my point well i just mean, gifts,promises and physical affection is a must in a relation physical affection can be of any kind depending on them but we can not say its lust if it contains love that is what i meant

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          1. Seriously that is what every one says!! I’m just like the odd one out left behind saying love is something beyond human minds!

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              1. You’ll never know who really cares and who doesn’t many a times it’s our pears who tell us your in love!!! This interventions are really profound.if it’s true you’ll never know they love you they will be your worst critic just to make you better!!! You’ll never know what it’s like that is why it’s a little beyond human minds(atleast over my mind if I’m wrong😅😅😅)

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                1. everyone has there own definition of love then i will not comment on yours as its hard to understand it for me as well as it was for you to understand my but i will say one thing , there is difference between reality and our own made world about love the way we think the world do not work but we learn that only after falling for example a person believed in love and got heart broken badly the faith flew away and heart became hard cause to protect himself but there is still little faith left to love himself

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  2. Okay WOW! This is great. Yes, a few sentences could be grammatically correct. But the emotion erases any error. Brilliantly written. You have conveyed the message very explicitly. 😁👌🏻

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    1. Yes. The grammatical error. I tried to edit it but most of the times I go with what my heart feels is a right sentence and tends out to be the grammatical wrong one. Lol. BTW Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I deal with the same issue and that’s okay. The feelings in your post are real and that’s what matters. As I said the emotions conceals the errors. Keep writing. 😁😄

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  3. with due respect to her emotions, i would like to say, never fall in love if you are not quite sure of returns or else be ready to accept the emotions whatever it may be.
    still thinking what made you to write this..

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      1. yeah i also agree its not about indian society the society everywhere is like that its not only india ,its culture,tradition and its also in other countries but the thing is you have to fight for your rights and stand for yourself that will make you a strong women who wants a weak women emotionally ?she may fell weak but she has to be strong to at least protect her rights

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        1. That thinking is good and it should be like this but in different countries, women have different levels of freedom. I don’t agree with it that the picture is same everywhere. 🙂
          In India, the level of freedom is very low for women.

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          1. But if you look closely you will realize freedom is less everywhere but the thing is to fight for it for example Pakistan,Malaysia,Africa,France,Belgium,Australia,USA ,Iran,Turkey,etc if you look closely in all these countries you will find that somewhere the freedom has been taken away freedom is not only the right to marry my friend but it is a vast word with a long meaning you can not say that in.these countries that right is never taken , for example love marriage is.also not considered good in Pakistan (but I think let them decide that is it)ok. Now in Malaysia do you even.know the mutilation process it also happens in some.parts of india ok now Africa has the highest number of domestic violence against women the violence of.rape as well So.is that freedom? And.yeah I.forgot marriages and abortions which happens in India as well with the highest rate that is why it’s population has more men them women but.my point.is that freedom.is taken from everyone now France Belgium and Australia the right to cover your head or even wear the scarf is prohibited.to Muslims.do.you call.that freedom in modern countries like them? And do not forget your religion to have modesty that is why married women in India some cover there heads after marriage ok Now coming to Turkey journalism and the right to put Muslims names,wear Muslims clothes,do. Azan in mosques was prohibited when the government of the army came now it’s.changing as the new.government came but I was taking about the past and Iraq it’s hard for a women to take higher position even one women that won the election they said it is because of her beauty and so did not allowed is this freedom? Now coming to the last USA we all think USA has the most freedom but the way it looks and the reality or lose lopes I. It are unseen for that you have to look in society do you know pedophiles and the ones looking for bdsm and stuff like that and I would just be honest sex trafficking is going on there on a large scale a bf can even sell his gf for.a.car is that freedom? And the racism nowadays is that freedom? I know o.have said a lot But I just waned to tell you my.point this world is not that easy to live

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  4. great and true post dear….you know! that is the very reason, sometime I feel that foreign culture or customs regarding love &marriages are much better than Indian ones …there they are free from family side…they are free to choose there life partner..and ultimately happy.. and in India if you want to have a love marriage and that is also very happily then you need to roll lots of poppadoms for it..(I mean in most of the families, but very rare families accept love marriages without any issues)… well said.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautiful story. I could feel the emotion all the way to the end. It’s sad that situations like that can really happen.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I couldn’t agree with all of this more. I truly understands how our Indian society works and would want just a little , a tiny bit of improvement in it. It is high time that even girls now had liberation in choosing their partners. And even if it is inter caste marriage, I’d say like Society please grow up we have people from different countries married and happy in their lives.

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