Old Diary

​My trembling hands tried to get hold of the pen residing peacefully in the pen holder. With much difficulty, I succeeded in picking up the pen. I opened the cap and put it aside on the table. I looked at the diary covered in dust placed right at the center of the small table. It looked just like an ordinary diary. My eyes were feeling heavy. I just opened the diary without cleaning it not because I didn’t want to but I hadn’t got the energy to move my hands that much. The yellow pages were openly telling that it was lying here for a long time. The whole room looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for several years. The dust particles entered my nose and made me sneeze. Somehow, I controlled it and sat down on the chair.

I started reading through the pages reliving the memories of past that once I cherished. While going through some of the last pages, my heart couldn’t hold feelings anymore now and those feelings came out through eyes in form of tears. My tears dropped upon the yellow pages of the diary making then wet and an unknown aroma hit my nose that was already irritated from previous encounter with dust. I didn’t try to wipe away my tears because I hadn’t cried for several years now. All those choked feelings needed an escape.

I reached the last page of the diary and it read.

“You were, is and always will remain in my memories and heart. I know I have betrayed you by not marrying you. I don’t know what to say else. I am sorry. We weren’t in each other’s destiny. Bye.”

It was her diary and she had gifted it to me on our last meet. The meet which had life changing effects on me. 

I picked up the pen and wrote “The end” with my trembling hands and closed the diary without thinking anymore. I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying more. My face was feeling stretched like an invisible layer covered it and it was because of my dried out tears.

I was trying to leave the habit of drinking alcohol and that made my hands tremble whenever I tried to overpower that feeling.

The over dependence on alcohol had done much bad to me but not greater than her….

P.S – I am writing again and again about the failed marriage scene because I want to express it in different ways. You can always tell me whether you are getting bored with it or not. 😉

Image credits – 123rf