​”But Mehak, I love you. I can’t live without you. Can’t we give our relationship atleast one try?” I said holding her by shoulders 

She gave me a dead look. 

Puneet, you don’t understand. I know my family better. They won’t accept us.” she replied with a clear voice 

You are saying this even though we haven’t tried once. I am just telling you to give it a try. What’s the big deal? Atleast, I will be content that we tried our best but stars weren’t with us.” I replied trying to motivate her 

But Puneet, you aren’t understanding. There’s no point in trying if they won’t accept.” she again stated the same thing

Damn it. How are you so sure? What’s stopping you from trying?” I replied with a raised level in my tone

Because simply I can’t.” she said looking down 

What?” I asked with amazement 

Puneet, I don’t have guts to talk about it with my family. That is it.” she replied still looking down

What the…. So, why didn’t you tell me about this in 2 years of our relationship? Look at me.” I asked her in a strong tone 

I had told you that I won’t be able to talk to my family about us but you didn’t listen… ” I stopped her in between 

What? I didn’t listen. I tried to motivate you always and thought that you will talk to your family about us.” I replied 

Puneet, listen it’s enough. I have made myself very clear that I won’t be able to talk about us with my family. So, please. Let it be. My parents won’t accept us ever and thus, we should think practically. I don’t want to keep this relationship with you and then suddenly, one day tell you that my marriage is fixed. I can’t do that with you. I am sorry that I can’t stand up to your expectations. I am sorry…. ” I again stopped her before letting her complete as she said all this looking at me 

I was looking down at the road while listening to all this. 

Sorry. Please, don’t use the word sorry. I am sorry that I loved you so much that it gave me a tiny bit of hope. The hope that we will fight for our love. The hope that you will tell your family about us. You know, no matter how hard I tried to not keep any hope regarding our future but still, a part of me always hoped that at least you would take a stand for us. I had always told you that please never break my heart. Thank you so much for loving me and then breaking my heart. Do me a favour, don’t ever fall in love again.” I said looking at her with tears just at the brink of coming out 

I pulled my hands back from her shoulder. 

People say Love gives you strength. Hahaha.. Fuck. It takes all your strength and gives you pain.” I added 

And tears found their way out. 

She kept looking at me for she was seeing me crying for the first and last time ever. 

Puneet, I am sorry.” she said with clear deject in her eyes

Don’t be. I won’t ever see you again. You live happily with your family. I won’t ever come back. Bye.” I replied and turned back 

While walking back, I didn’t turned to see her. I wanted to cry so much. I never thought she would say this. Never thought love could hurt this much. This unbearable pain. These tears which always want to come out. 

That day, something died inside me. 

My belief on love and relationships died. 

My optimism died. 

My remaining hopes died. 

My dreams died. 

My heart died.

P.S – Relationship is a mutual thing. One fails, the other automatically fails. Don’t have guts, then don’t fall in love for it gives the other person unbearable pain. πŸ™‚

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47 thoughts on “Something Died Inside Me

  1. Loves gives you the strength to bear pain which comes with it as a bonus, haha. If your love is true it gives an unknown power to fight for your love unless it was not enough strong to made you stand for it.
    Lovely it was.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. you know, this post left me speechless.
    i don’t know what to say.
    the feeling of pain and betrayal, thats what i felt reading this and the last line, damn, i don’t know how to express it!

    Liked by 1 person

            1. You know that book, “I too had a love story”
              I’m unable to read that book because of the same reason! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
              P.s. in previous comment, i meant right now not write now πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ

              Liked by 1 person

            2. That was the first novel I had read and the most emotional one.
              Yeah, I understood you meant right now. πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚ Autocorrection on overdose. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
              Well, I don’t know what else to say.

              Liked by 1 person

            3. Well, atleast you read the whole novel, unlike me, who had the book for like 2 years but still am unable to read it! πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
              And autocorrect rocks πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

              Liked by 1 person

  3. I had exactly a simikar story ,it was 5 long years but at the end thats what I got all that family thing and hell lot of excuses .I just hope , we can become so unreasonable too.I too got to hear that “I never said taht we can get married”.Whoa as if its a ricket science to expect a committment after such a long term relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sad to hear that. A serious relationship needs commitment and it’s nothing wrong to ask for one.
      I don’t want to become so unreasonable because I don’t want someone else to bear the same pain as I went through.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Right now, my mind really wants to do the same to someone else but my heart stops me from doing that and it’s always been like that, my heart always stop me from doing such things. That most of the times makes me the receiver of all this.

          Liked by 1 person

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