Something Died Inside Me

​”But Mehak, I love you. I can’t live without you. Can’t we give our relationship atleast one try?” I said holding her by shoulders 

She gave me a dead look. 

“Puneet, you don’t understand. I know my family better. They won’t accept us.” she replied with a clear voice 

“You are saying this even though we haven’t tried once. I am just telling you to give it a try. What’s the big deal? Atleast, I will be content that we tried our best but stars weren’t with us.” I replied trying to motivate her 

“But Puneet, you aren’t understanding. There’s no point in trying if they won’t accept.” she again stated the same thing

“Damn it. How are you so sure? What’s stopping you from trying?” I replied with a raised level in my tone

“Because simply I can’t.” she said looking down 

“What?” I asked with amazement 

“Puneet, I don’t have guts to talk about it with my family. That is it.” she replied still looking down

“What the…. So, why didn’t you tell me about this in 2 years of our relationship? Look at me.” I asked her in a strong tone 

“ I had told you that I won’t be able to talk to my family about us but you didn’t listen… ” I stopped her in between 

“What? I didn’t listen. I tried to motivate you always and thought that you will talk to your family about us.” I replied 

“Puneet, listen it’s enough. I have made myself very clear that I won’t be able to talk about us with my family. So, please. Let it be. My parents won’t accept us ever and thus, we should think practically. I don’t want to keep this relationship with you and then suddenly, one day tell you that my marriage is fixed. I can’t do that with you. I am sorry that I can’t stand up to your expectations. I am sorry…. ” I again stopped her before letting her complete as she said all this looking at me 

I was looking down at the road while listening to all this. 

“Sorry. Please, don’t use the word sorry. I am sorry that I loved you so much that it gave me a tiny bit of hope. The hope that we will fight for our love. The hope that you will tell your family about us. You know, no matter how hard I tried to not keep any hope regarding our future but still, a part of me always hoped that at least you would take a stand for us. I had always told you that please never break my heart. Thank you so much for loving me and then breaking my heart. Do me a favour, don’t ever fall in love again.” I said looking at her with tears just at the brink of coming out 

I pulled my hands back from her shoulder. 

“People say Love gives you strength. Hahaha.. Fuck. It takes all your strength and gives you pain.” I added 

And tears found their way out. 

She kept looking at me for she was seeing me crying for the first and last time ever. 

“Puneet, I am sorry.” she said with clear deject in her eyes

“Don’t be. I won’t ever see you again. You live happily with your family. I won’t ever come back. Bye.” I replied and turned back 

While walking back, I didn’t turned to see her. I wanted to cry so much. I never thought she would say this. Never thought love could hurt this much. This unbearable pain. These tears which always want to come out. 

That day, something died inside me. 

My belief on love and relationships died. 

My optimism died. 

My remaining hopes died. 

My dreams died. 

My heart died.

P.S – Relationship is a mutual thing. One fails, the other automatically fails. Don’t have guts, then don’t fall in love for it gives the other person unbearable pain. 🙂