The Only Playlist

The Only Playlist

Feeling indifferent to the world and the society, he had lost his interest in everything. His heart was devoid of the emotions that make a human being lively. His eyes had long lost the shine. His infectious energy had died and he had restricted himself against even his own feelings.

Sitting on the window seat of the bus, he pulled out his phone from the bag. The moment he switched on the internet on his phone, it was bombarded with notifications from different apps. He had many friends on the social networks but in reality, he had no one to comfort him. He just ignored all the notifications and opened the music app. There was only one playlist in the playlist section of the music app named “Her Favorite”. He played it and pushed the earphones into his ears effectively blocking the noise of the outside world as he looked outside the window of the moving bus.

“Kitni baatein yaad aati hai….Tasveerein si ban jati hai…Mai kaise inhe bhoolon…Dil ko kya samjhaun…”

His lips started moving automatically with the song playing and myriad thoughts invaded his mind. The thoughts which he wanted to forget.

The beautiful happy memories of the past now made his heart sank with grief.

Image credits – Lovers point


The Show 

The Show 

​”Akhil… Akhil… Akhil…”  

The crowd chanted his name in unison as he came forward on the stage. The girls and boys were all going gaga to listen to his voice. Both happy and crying faces were visible. 

There was madness everywhere around but an unusual silence inside him. A silence that can easily make others lose their mind but he was looking all fine and good to perform again. His forte was romantic songs cause his voice was absolutely emotion laden. His voice was hefty which made it more soothing and magical. 

He looked down at the black floor and then up towards the dark black sky. He closed his eyes and a face came into his thoughts. He slowly opened his eyes and could feel the tears building up. Tears and that face were always a part of his every performance. 

As he looked at the crowd, he started singing…

Acha chalta hun… 

And a silence prevailed which was breached by his voice only… 

No one could understand how he sang so well… 

Maybe it was his voice, maybe it was his emotions or just maybe it was the pain behind his voice which brought tears into everyone’s eyes… 

Image credits – Rockstar

His Untold Feelings 

His Untold Feelings 

​“If you love someone, you never say such harsh words to them. I loved you so much and what you did. You just thought about yourself. You thought that it was only you who loved. You words broke my heart into millions of pieces. I won’t be able to love anyone else now. The feelings I had for you aren’t there anymore. How the hell could you say all those things to me? Where was that love? Where were all those feelings? Even then my fucking heart doesn’t stop caring for you. Damn. I want to kill myself for caring for you. Tell me, why you talked with me like that? What was my fault? Say it.” she asked at the top of her voice

Her eyes filled with tears asking him millions questions. Their eyes locked with each other and suddenly, her anger busted out in tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of him and hence left that place.

“Whatever were my emotions and intentions behind what I did can’t be understood by anyone. I have never been able to make you understand my views. I know what I did hurt you a lot and most probably destroyed your views on love. Damn me and my feelings. Damn me and my love. Damn me and my emotions. I was probably a curse in the cloak of blessing. That’s why I was never the destined one for you. Even though the feeling for me in your heart has gone and maybe you will hate me but it’s for your betterment as it will keep you at bay from me. You are a pure soul. Soon, you will get into a new groove and someone will come who will fit perfectly into that groove. He will understand you completely which I always failed at. Maybe, I made you regret at your decision to love me but I’m sure the one who comes now won’t make you regret your decision. I don’t hope that someone will come into your life again because I’m sure that that one person will come and be the sunrise of your life. God bless you.” 

These words came into his mind. With tears in his eyes, a sad smile came on his face and  he went into a different world. No one ever saw him again.

The Everyday Battle 

The Everyday Battle 

​As he stood in the balcony with his right hand on the black colored iron fence and a burning cigarette in the fingers of his left hand, his mind and heart battled each other. The night sky devoid of the moon complemented his conditions rather painfully. 

His heart still felt the love for her strongly while his mind forced that love to not come and show up. 

“Why are you talking to her rudely?” his heart asked 

“You really want an answer?” his mind counter questioned 

“Obviously.” his heart replied 

“You don’t know what she did?”  his mind asked 

“But it wasn’t in her hand. She was forced to this.” his heart replied supporting her 

“What she did was wrong and nothing can be done now. I am angry with her and I am going to talk rudely with her.” his mind replied 

“She doesn’t deserves this. You’re doing wrong.” his heart raised the opinion strongly 

“Even I don’t deserved all this pain and all this forced nicotine. What wrong did I do? Stop having a soft corner for her. She’s gone and won’t return. Be practical. I can’t allow to be just friends with her, knowing she meant even more than a lover at one point.” his mind countered much strongly 

He smoked the first puff and the nicotine quickly entered his bloodstream. His mind and heart’s battle died with that first puff. 

It was so ironic that the person who hated cigarette his whole life now took the help of cigarette to shut down this battle every time it happened.

And it was the mind that won the battle everytime. He could do nothing to create peace between them. He knew his mind was hurting her but then just like she had no control over her decision, even he had no control over this rude behaviour of his. 

Maybe he was too hurt from inside. 

Maybe he hadn’t encountered this much hurt before. 

Maybe she didn’t know the extent of the excruciating pain he was encountering… 

Image credits – Medical stop

Blade and Wrist

Blade and Wrist

A blade in the left hand just inches above the wrist of his right arm. His trembling body clearly showed the fight that was going on inside him. The fight between the good and the bad side. The fight that was going to decide what would happen next.

The neurons in his brain were busy in processing the myriad thoughts. The tears flowing profusely and dropping over his wrist. His eyes had become red now from the overflow of tears as he failed to stop them.

The numerous past memories flashed before his eyes as he struggled to keep them away.

Depression overtook the better of him and the blade moved in a flash to slit open his wrist. The gravity did the rest of work as the blood oozed from the delicate veins of his wrist and fell on the floor. As the blood kept flowing out, his body started getting cold and the vision started becoming hazy.

His lips opened to say something but before he could say anything, the life left his body.

The blade won the fight against the wrist.

The fight ended with the dark side clearly being the winner.

P.S – Please don’t expect love stories from me. Dark is the new me. 😉

Image creditsPhotography

Her Feelings 

Her Feelings 

​I know it pains him more than me to live all alone on his own without anyone to share his feelings with. I love him so much. I can’t live without him but I know we can never be together. Why isn’t he accepting this and moving on? I know it’s more easy to say than to do but we have got no other option. I know my family. They won’t ever approve of us. Moreover, the time is also against us. Everything is against us. 

He is making me feel guilty about my decision. He has now changed into something I always feared. He has let the darkness inside him to define him. He has lost him smile and happiness. I always wanted him to be happy. He hadn’t ever cried for a girl but that day on the call hearing his silent sobs and tearful voice made a dent on my heart. I was the reason behind his tears and I can never forgive myself for this. 

I know I can never forget him. I know no one can ever love me so much. I know the depth of his pious love for me and that’s what making me mad. I know I haven’t given him much to be happy about. 

He came into my life at a time when I was totally broken. He resurrected me with his love. He cared for me without any expectations. He always told me that he just wanted to make me smile. I am still amazed by the power of his love for me. 

I know I don’t have strength to tell my parents regarding us but when I am sure of the rejection, then how can I give him the false hope that I will try? 

No, I can’t give him any false hope which will break him but the thing is he is already shattered from inside. 

How do I tell him that it pains me so much to see him fighting with himself.

I just don’t know what to do… 

One Sided Love

One Sided Love

She was looking absolutely ravishing in her heavily embroidered golden lehnga. Her happiness was unbounding. She was surrounded by her female friends who were lavishing her with compliments on her beauty but she still felt like something was missing. She was missing her best friend, Ayan. She had informed him about her marriage and he had reluctantly agreed to come. 

He looked at her from a distance. He felt disturbed and angry but there was nothing he could do. It was a one sided love. She didn’t felt his love while he was madly in love with her. He hadn’t expressed his feelings to her but today, he couldn’t hold on anymore. 

As soon as he entered the room where she and her friends were sitting,everyone looked at him with surprise. She told her friends to leave them for sometime. 

“Hey, it’s so good to see you here. I knew you would come.” she said hugging him

“Good to see you too. I am happy for you.” he said 

He didn’t quite reciprocated the hug with the same warmth. The tears started building up in his eyes. She saw it. 

“Hey, Are you alright?” she asked 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” he replied avoiding her gaze

She held his chin and made him look towards her. 

“Tell me.” she said looking straight towards him

“Alizeh, I have been in love with you since the day we met first but never told you about it. I love you alot. I know it will change nothing now but.. ” he couldn’t complete his sentence 

She was out of words on hearing him. She tried making up in her mind about what to say. 

“But Ayan, I have always seen you just as my best friend. Never more than that. Even you know that. I have enjoyed each and every moment with you but never saw you with that view.” she said trying to make him understand 

The anger, the pain and the helplessness he was feeling was just so much than his bearing limit. His red eyes filled with tears clearly showed the pain to her. He was a strong guy but seeing the love of her life getting married to someone else just broke him down from inside. He looked at her with love and hate, with care and anger, with happiness and tears. His heart was torn between friendship and love. He couldn’t make out which side to be on. 

Just then, her friends entered the room and he just went away from the room with questions in his heart and tears in his eyes.

P.S – The names and scene is inspired from the movie.